/C:/WINDOWS?system32

So if you are a guy, you know exactly what I am talking about.. And if you are a girl, start taking notes.

So I went over to my friends place. To study. And we ended up browsing through his porn collection. No, we aren’t going to discuss porn. Its meant to be watched. Alone. I don’t know, but I have something against 2 guys watching porn together. AND browsing means going through the titles, and watching a few specific ones, clicking on the time slot bar thingy every few seconds, like a preview. No, the point is not as to what the porn was about. It was about where he hid it in his PC. And he did that where? /C:/WINDOWS/System32/@#$%^&*.

The basic idea is hiding it in the WINDOWS folder, usually in the system32 file. Now the thing was, he wasn’t the only one who had done it. I had done it since god knows when. And pretty much every guy I know, has done it some time or the other, when they were forced to save the media on their hard drive. Why is this such a common factor in the male species? They assume no one else will go in this area as no one dares to mess around in the windows folder. But the whole purpose is lost when everyone used the same hiding place.

So basically, we really need to find a new hiding place. But thanks to streaming, we really don’t need to hide anything. :D

P.S. My friend, he hides cigarettes in the casing of his PC, which is actually very creative, but rather sad, as he has to go through a lot effort to smoke. :Z

osmaaan: hello aaez. since tum ab bohot cool ho gae ho, i thought i should post something on your wall before you get way too cool and stop talking. :S

aaez: Good call. But I'm not cool. I'm sick. SIIIIIIIICCCKKK. -sneezes-

osmaan: but WAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY? i thought cool people dont get sick. :S

aaez: I told you I'm not cool!

osmaan: cool log yahi kehte hain. aik kaam karo naa aez. tum bohat cool ho. antarctica chalay jao. :S

aaez: OmG, I would KILL to go to Antarctica, because then I'd see the nothern lights. Well they wont exactly be Northern, they'd be southern, but you know what I mean. The Auroorraaassss.

osmaan: they still call them them the nothern lights, dont they? also, if you flush the toilet, the water will circulate in a clockwise motion rather than anticlockwise thing going on here. :S

aaez: Wow that's so cool. And 6 months without sunlight. ._.

osmaan: goray ho jao geh tum. :P

aaez: Haye, phir meri ghetto-osity khatam ho jaye gee. :P Shit.

osmaan: zaroori nai hai. eminem ko nai dekah. white boy rapping kerte hoay kis ko acha lagta hai wasiay. :S

aaez: I don't wnna be white boy! I wnna be black.Blaaaaaaaaaaaccckkkk

osmaan: dont worry. there was a time when white was superior. and you will get the opportunity to use new material. instead of pretending to be a black mama, you could give a try at being a white mama. :S

aaez: Choro yaar. I hate them white mamas. =P

osmaan: kitne racist ho tum aaez. aur technically muzamil aik white mama hai. so .......

aaez: EXACTLY! :P Muzamil aik white mama hay. :P Mujhay white mama nayee bunna. :P

osmaan: dekha hai tumhara mamu kitna popular hoa wa hai. woh zamana door nai jab (*insert popular girl number 1 here) aur (*insert popular girl numebr 2 here) hamari white mama per ler rahe houn geh. :P (i am really starting to like this cheesy urdu)

aaez: WHY are you talking about him with me!? :P

osmaan: tumhara mamu hai woh. abhi koi aur exucse sochnay do phir bata houn. :S. point yeh hai .... aik minute peechay ka perhnay do, yaad nai araha point kya tha. :S.yes. tumhari hotness aur coolness kam nai ho gi white mama ban ker. :)

aaez: Nayeee naaa. If I became white mama, to phir Muzamil ki hotness aur coolness khatam hojayee gee. Me and Muzamil are like...ebony and ivory. :P

osmaan: actually muzamil ki coolness aur hotness zada ho jae gi. white mama sisters lago geh tum dono. ab mujhe samajh nai araha ke methodology ko kis direction main le ker chaloun. :S

aaez: Bohat lamba joke hogya. :P

osmaan: abhi aur lamba ker sakte hain. :P

aaez: Kinkay thoughts. xD

"which university are you applying to?"."Your Mom's"

Ever seen how in the U.S., no one asks you who you are voting for. Though its barely anything private, but the Americans need to maintain this lame ass façade of privacy, and keeping themselves happy. Now why cant we have the same thing with university applications? Why the fuck do we have to listen to the same question thrown in every bloody conversation, not just with “adults”, people our age, and hell, even the ones younger than you.

Maybe I don’t want to tell you where I am applying. Maybe I am too fucking embarrassed by my achievements and don’t feel like using public restrooms. Maybe I am deciding on the basis of probability of getting laid. If you actually gave a fuck, well you would already know.

Now I see my fellow man, how he is always concerned with his future. Going through severe depression over the choices he is about to make. And what do I do? I make up a fake university with his help, hoping to ease him up. :O

Osmaan: bas phir meray saath hamdard hi ja raha hai naa? :P

Hamza: hahaha kyun depress kr raha hai...achay bahlay khwab dekh raha tha...lol nah we'l make up our own univ and chill there...:P

Hamza Mughal, boaht perhta hai, phir bhi chikna hai.

Osmaan: han yaar. bas wahan per ham sex karain geh, raaat ko. aur din ko bhi. aur un ke dermiyaan mani bhi. ................ lerkiyoun ke saath. :S
bas ab university ka naam sochna hai.

Hamza: preston ho ya princeton...Hamdard ya Mcgill...SEXTON Hamri univ ki naam tujhe khush krnay k liye...Uve got a weird obsession wiv the word :P kher CO bathrooms ur bed will vibrate :P nd yea a few kissin booths here nd there...NO gays just pimpin PLayer like u ND ne :P kaisa hai ab tu beth website bana :P

Osmaan: Sexton: (i) a self-propelled artillery vehicle of World War II,
(ii a church officer charged with the maintenance of the church buildings and/or the surrounding graveyard; and ringing of the church bells)

Phir bhi fit naam hai university ka. The word is fucking brilliant. It has the amazing capability of breaking awkwar...d silences, tension in the air and all. Iss liay university ka naam sexton. bas website banana mera kaam hai. reappear aur sat se farigh hoany de. itni chickni website ho gi, tera website ke saath sex kernay ka mood ho ga.

Hamza: hahaha we'l be pioneers...SEXTON hahaha i suare i randomly wrote tht word dint know it ws actualii a word...nd fyt hai u give them cambridge wankas nd tht SAT checkers a boner nd then WE'l work on the sexton...(HAHAHA)

Osmaan: yaar, ham tau intellectuals/academics ban gae. aik kaam ker te hain naa. iss ko Sexton Institute Technology ker lete hai, Aur iss ki short ofrm: SexTech! We can specify that teh name doesnt stand for Sex with Machines. University main sab se pehlay aik cheez hona zarori hai. University khud condoms banae gi. Self suffi...cient! Uss main hi sex hota hai.
Bilal Shakir ko kush kernay ke liay ussay wahan ka KING bana dien geh. :P

Bilal Shakir, KING!

Now, for my own issues, to avoid the simple problem of people asking me that question, I plan on answering university application questions with “your mom”. Period. Hopefully the person will avoid talking to me ever again.

Preparation for LUMUN (New Years per hai yaar, pata nai 09 hai ya 10)

(1:52:22 AM) --: lumun per aik chawali maarni hai
(1:52:26 AM) l0o0oOolz: kya?
(1:52:34 AM) --: bandi ke paas jana hai.
(1:52:45 AM) --: aur kehna hai ke ham dono ke sex life boring ho gai hai.
(1:52:54 AM) --: iss liay aap hamaray saath 3some karain gi?
(1:53:20 AM) l0o0oOolz: main apni T_T wali shakal banaoun ga
(1:53:21 AM) --: uss se kya farak perta hai? :S
(1:53:27 AM) --: oh han.
(1:53:32 AM) l0o0oOolz: kuch nahin
(1:53:33 AM) --: T_T
(1:53:41 AM) l0o0oOolz: Phir sawal pooch kay ^_^ karain gay
(1:54:04 AM) --: aur kya ker saktay hain lumun per? :S
(1:54:16 AM) l0o0oOolz: new years ho gi
(1:54:21 AM) l0o0oOolz: wanna kiss me for a year? :S
(1:54:21 AM) --: han.
(1:54:32 AM) l0o0oOolz: if you wanna join my alliance, let's make it a
night to remember? :S
(1:54:48 AM) l0o0oOolz: fake birthday celebrate karain gay :D
(1:54:53 AM) --: han.
(1:54:54 AM) --: :D
(1:54:56 AM) l0o0oOolz: bc
(1:54:59 AM) l0o0oOolz: itna shughal lagay ga :D
(1:55:39 AM) --: tu mera wingman ho ga buss.
(1:55:49 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan. main kuch boloun ga nahin
(1:55:56 AM) l0o0oOolz: donon aik bandi kay pass jayen gay
(1:56:03 AM) l0o0oOolz: main saath T_T kar kay khara houn ga
(1:56:16 AM) l0o0oOolz: tu bandi ko tap kar kay kaheen, "have you met me?"
(1:56:29 AM) l0o0oOolz: aur main saari conversation main T_T kar kay
khara rahoun ga
(1:56:56 AM) l0o0oOolz: Phir wou pareshan ho jaye gi.
(1:56:59 AM) --: lekin tereay saath makeout kaisay kari gi agar
tu T_T ker keh khara rahe ga.
(1:57:00 AM) --: :S
(1:57:20 AM) l0o0oOolz: hmm
(1:57:29 AM) l0o0oOolz: cool lagoun ga makeout kartay waqt
(1:57:42 AM) l0o0oOolz: Ager wou bhi T_T kar kay khari ho gi tou phir
she'll be the one for me. <- gay moment.
(1:58:06 AM) --: lekin barely koi lerki T_T ker ke khari rehti hai
(1:58:21 AM) l0o0oOolz: ager love at first sight huwa tou T_T kareen
(1:58:25 AM) --: tu thori der ke liay ^_^ ho kar khara ho jaien.
(1:58:30 AM) l0o0oOolz: O_o kar kay
(1:58:36 AM) --: aur aik do PG-13 chussian maar dien.
(1:58:43 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan!
(1:58:45 AM) --: tau woh kush ho jae gi.
(1:58:54 AM) --: phir main ussay storuy sunaoun ga
(1:58:56 AM) l0o0oOolz: .__. kar kay khara houn ga
(1:59:03 AM) --: keh tera bara recently break up hoa hai.
(1:59:05 AM) l0o0oOolz: tairi story main ;__; karoun ga
(1:59:07 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan
(1:59:08 AM) --: aur tu bohat depressed tha.
(1:59:09 AM) --: :S
(1:59:15 AM) --: aur uss se aglay din teri bday ho gi. :P
(1:59:18 AM) l0o0oOolz: bohot geeky ho gya hai
(1:59:21 AM) l0o0oOolz: hahaha :P good idea!
(1:59:25 AM) --: story teray samnay nai sunaoun ga naa.
(1:59:25 AM) --: :S
(1:59:31 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan good idea hai
(1:59:35 AM) l0o0oOolz: main door depress khara houn ga
(1:59:39 AM) --: zada dramatic ho ga agar tu nai ho ga udher.
(1:59:51 AM) --: tu yahi story uss ki zada hot wali friend ko
meray baray main suna dien.
(1:59:52 AM) --: S:
(2:00:05 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan D:
(2:00:15 AM) l0o0oOolz: main door Will Smith wali smile kar raha houn ga
(2:00:29 AM) l0o0oOolz: fake facade masked emotions walay lafz use karay gi wou
(2:00:39 AM) --: persuite of happiness wali na ho.
(2:00:48 AM) l0o0oOolz: Seven Pounds wali ho gi.
(2:00:51 AM) --: uss mian lagta hai woh sex chnge operation kera
ke aya hai.:S
(2:00:56 AM) --: han phir theek hai :S
(2:01:03 AM) l0o0oOolz: Mairi aankhain sad hon gi
(2:01:06 AM) l0o0oOolz: smile laikin sax ho gi
(2:01:26 AM) --: "facade" aur "mask" conversation main koi 10 12
mertaba le ana
(2:01:33 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan
(2:01:34 AM) --: smile tau sax hi hoti hai.
(2:01:35 AM) --: S:
(2:01:42 AM) l0o0oOolz: main kahoun ga
(2:02:04 AM) l0o0oOolz: my girlfriend dumped me last week. kaih rahi
thi she couldn't see me like this.
(2:02:16 AM) --: nia nai
(2:02:17 AM) l0o0oOolz: balkaih nahin
(2:02:22 AM) l0o0oOolz: why would she dump me?
(2:02:25 AM) l0o0oOolz: o_O
(2:02:26 AM) --: last week kahe ga tau ussay lagay ga ke woh
rebound hai. :S
(2:02:35 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan D:
(2:02:48 AM) --: kyun ke tum bohat innocent ho, aur tum uss ke
saath sex nai kertay thay.
(2:02:49 AM) l0o0oOolz: idharh amain wou A Beatiful Mind wali baat karni ho gi
(2:02:53 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan.
(2:02:58 AM) l0o0oOolz: laikin phir wou bhi nahin karay gi :(
(2:02:59 AM) --: shaadi tak intexaar kerna chahtay thay.
(2:03:09 AM) --: sex mat karien na.
(2:03:17 AM) --: make out tau ker le atleast. :S
(2:03:29 AM) --: BJ sex nai hota waisay bhi. :S
(2:03:39 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan
(2:03:41 AM) l0o0oOolz: yeh bhi hai
(2:04:04 AM) --: main school main journalism society ka head houn.:S
(2:04:11 AM) l0o0oOolz: head hai?
(2:04:11 AM) --: aur society ka naam BJs rakh ahai.
(2:04:12 AM) --: :D
(2:04:15 AM) l0o0oOolz: hahaahah
(2:04:17 AM) --: han
(2:04:18 AM) --: president.
(2:04:28 AM) --: T_T
(2:04:33 AM) l0o0oOolz: main kahoun ga mairi bandi mairay par cheat
karnay lag gayi
(2:04:40 AM) l0o0oOolz: balkaih chor :S
(2:04:40 AM) --: han.
(2:04:43 AM) l0o0oOolz: main bus ronay lag jaoung a
(2:04:44 AM) --: yeh fit idea hai.
(2:04:45 AM) l0o0oOolz: reason nahin bataoun ga
(2:04:50 AM) --: lekin yeh mat kahien aik hafta pehlay
(2:04:56 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan
(2:04:57 AM) --: ussay laga ga woh rebound hai. :S
(2:05:07 AM) l0o0oOolz: main life story sunaoun ga apni
(2:05:08 AM) --: kehna 2 mahinay ho gae hain.
(2:05:16 AM) --: "but i still think i am not over her".
(2:05:24 AM) l0o0oOolz: but i still think.. sigh
(2:05:27 AM) --: sean penn style main bolna. :S
(2:05:32 AM) l0o0oOolz: aur phir nevermindleaveit
(2:05:38 AM) --: haan.
(2:06:10 AM) l0o0oOolz: Phir sax.
(2:06:14 AM) l0o0oOolz: PHIR
(2:06:19 AM) l0o0oOolz: yeh kaih osmaan maira cousin hai
(2:06:22 AM) --: phir DR-14 main sax
(2:06:24 AM) l0o0oOolz: he's the only guy who knows me.
(2:06:33 AM) --: han han.
(2:06:47 AM) l0o0oOolz: har waqt saath hota hai.
(2:06:53 AM) --: han.
(2:06:54 AM) --: NAI!
(2:06:56 AM) l0o0oOolz: ham donon main say kissi aik ka tou chance ho ga na.
(2:06:59 AM) --: gay lagay ga. :S
(2:07:01 AM) l0o0oOolz: nahin itna bhi nahin xP
(2:07:02 AM) l0o0oOolz: haan
(2:07:12 AM) --: main ker lon ga.
(2:07:20 AM) --: meray 2-3 aur wing man hain. :P
(2:07:24 AM) --: lumun per hi.
(2:07:25 AM) --: :P
(2:07:28 AM) l0o0oOolz: lol
(2:07:33 AM) l0o0oOolz: waisay kar tou main bhi loun ga kuch
(2:07:38 AM) l0o0oOolz: apnay wit say (H)
(2:07:46 AM) l0o0oOolz: chussain maar maar kay
(2:08:03 AM) --: bas bhai ke kamray main beth ker whose line is
it anyway mat dekhta rahien. :S
(2:08:15 AM) l0o0oOolz: nahin. bhai ab nahin hain.
(2:08:20 AM) l0o0oOolz: uss din tou bore sa concert tha
(2:08:21 AM) --: oh han.
(2:08:27 AM) l0o0oOolz: concerts main boriat hoti hai
(2:08:28 AM) --: koi aur nai raha? :S
(2:08:46 AM) --: olympiad per ep ka cincert bara hi fit tha yaar.
(2:08:47 AM) --: S:
(2:08:57 AM) l0o0oOolz: main nahin aya =s =[
(2:08:58 AM) --: aur shaayd iss lumun per meray dost ki bhai ki
shaadi lahroe main hai.
(2:09:04 AM) l0o0oOolz: good hai
(2:09:15 AM) --: olympaid per wingman wala scene nai tha.
(2:09:28 AM) --: 12 larkay aik dorm ke kamray main so rahay thay.
(2:09:29 AM) --: :P
(2:09:35 AM) l0o0oOolz: gay scene tha?
(2:09:40 AM) --: m5 ke ground floor per.
(2:09:52 AM) --: saray kamray main beth ker aik saath porn dekhtay thay.
(2:09:55 AM) --: lesbian porn.
(2:10:04 AM) --: striahg t wala bhi nai. :S

Senior ki wall per Phadda!! End main tap gai woh. :/

Osmaan Khan
hello. :S
Mon at 19:10 · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

Abdullah Tariq
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!
5 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
iss main funny kya hai? :S
5 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tu gay hai.
5 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Tu super gay hai.
4 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tu mega gay hai.
4 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Tu ultimate gay hai.
4 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tu itna gay hai.
4 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Tu utna gay ahi.
4 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tu G say start hota hai aur AY par khatam hota hai. Itna gay hai.
4 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Tera G america main hai, aur Y pakistan main.
4 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tu itna gay hai tujhay G ki zaroorat hi nahin hai.
4 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Iss ke peechay tau bohat hi deep theory hai. :S
Tu Gay-Father Part 2 hai.
4 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Part 2 main De Niro hai. Woh Brando se zada gay hai. Iss liay tum part 2 ho.
4 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum part 3 ho. Wou itna gay part hai kaih wou aya hi nahin.
2 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
:S
woh aya tha. uss main micheal budha ho jata hai. godfather trilogy awieen tau nai kehte naa. aik minute, tum poori gay-father trilogy ho.
2 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Oh haan. :\
Tum yeh left side par chinese walay gay banday ho.
2 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
pehlay main gay-tullah mahsud likh nay wala tha. phir main ne tum se poocha ke offensive tau nai hai. tum ne kaha hai, :/. iss liay tum ........... gay-man ho.
2 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
tum all-star gay ho. tumhara apna show hai gay-factor.
2 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
tum seasonal gay ho.
atleast mera gay-factor tumhare "so you think you can be gay" se behtar hai.
2 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tumhari WWGAY wrestling hai. :S
2 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
o.O
yeh thore kam level ka nai tha. pata nai.
tum Dark Kgay ho. Kgay ka K silent hai. :S
2 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
s=
Tum Darth VaderGay ho. VaderGay ka Vader silent hai. :S
2 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
Darth Gay!
Dark ko chawal ker do tau Darth ban jata hai. :S
Lucas yani chawal tha!
Tum Luke Gay-toucher ho. :S
2 hours ago

Osmaan Khan
tumhari pink light saber ho gi. :D
2 hours ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum har larki kay gay best friend ho. :S
about an hour ago

Osmaan Khan
tum har lerkay ke gay best friend ho!
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Ager gay houn tou achi baat nahin hai? =S
Tum pink bedsheets say zyada gay ho.
about an hour ago

Osmaan Khan
tum tom cruise se zada gay ho!
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum uss say bhi zyada gay ho. Gay.
about an hour ago

Osmaan Khan
tum sab se zada gay ho. tum super saiyan 4 gay ho.
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum 9-tailed-gay ho.
about an hour ago

Osmaan Khan
tum fullmetal gay ho. :S
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum Blood: The Last Gay ho.
about an hour ago

Osmaan Khan
Tum afro gay ho. samuel jackson ki awaz ko gay ker do tau tumhari awaz ban jati ahi. :S
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum Tyson ki awaz jitnay gay ho.
about an hour ago

Osmaan Khan
Beyblade ke level per agae ho tum. Gay ho tum. Anime ki baisti ker di hai tumne. :S
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Main tou Mike Tyson ki baat kar raha tha. :S
about an hour ago

Osmaan KhanPhir Mike Tyson kehte. :S
:(
Tum ne beyblade ka refrence use kia. :(
main tum se baat nai ker raha.
about an hour ago

Abdullah Tariq
Nahin oye. Main tumhari tarah gayblade nahin daikhta.
56 minutes ago

Osmaan Khan
Nai, tum gay-mon dekhte ho naa.
47 minutes ago

Abdullah Tariq
Tum gay red riding hood ho.
45 minutes ago

Osmaan Khan
:S
tum fairy gay-mother ho.
44 minutes ago

Abdullah Tariq
tum mother-gay-fairy ho? haan :S
33 minutes ago

Osmaan Khan
:S
tum big gay wolf ho. :S
30 minutes ago

Abdullah Tariq
tum charlie and the gay factory ho. :S
23 minutes ago

Seemal Sikander
okay you guys need to stop. ant you fight on your own walls?=p
21 minutes ago

Osmaan Khan
nai, woh boring hoti hain. :(
tum spider-gay ho. homer ke spider-pig ki terah.
abdulah, yeh maarti tau nai hai naa?
20 minutes ago

Osmaan Khan
:(
10 minutes ago

Abdullah Tariq
tum max gay-ne ho.
nahin maira nahin khyaal.
10 minutes ago

Abdullah Tariq
:(
9 minutes ago

Abdullah Tariq
;_;
8 minutes ago

Osmaan Khan
:[
about a minute ago

Abdullah Tariq
:C
5 seconds ago

Woh kareeb ati hai tau Demaagh main Saw ka theme music chalta hai

It’s so unnerving, when you have to be polite to someone you don’t like. Especially if that someone pays special attention to you.

It starts with you helping them in their application to Cambridge. They lack confidence, you feel sorry for them, having no knowledge about them what so ever. You tell them that they should be confident in what they do, otherwise there is no point. And then yo carry on with your school work, staring at people, annoying people, all that.

Then about 3-4 days later, that someone adds you to their friends list on facebook. You unsuspectingly accept the request. She starts posting on your wall, thanking you. You are polite and reply saying “its okay”. And then suddenly she says “I love you for helping me”, and you are like T_T. You stare at the white part of the screen. If only she was a supermodel, then and only then was this kind of behavior would have been acceptable.

Before you know it, your bro with whom you pretend to be gay with likes the post. Later on sh adds “as a friend” in the comments, but the damage has been done. You think the worst is over, and get on with your facebook stalking, while the new House episode is on download, browsing through ‘digg” every once in a while.

Three days later, when you have forgotten about it all, she starts talking to you in facebook chat. You feel weary, remembering a warning from one of your other friends about how attached she ahs started to become recently, after a year of lying dormant in the middle of the crowd. She talks about random stuff, and its difficult for you to pay attention. And before you know it, when ever you show up on facebook, she is there, making her presence felt through all those wall posts, comments on everything on your profile. Its sad when you never sign out of your facebook account. No, that certainly does NOT mean you don’t have a social life outside your room. But it leads to people thinking that you are presently willing to chat. Incase of her, she just starts typing in uppercase, like the world is coming to an end. Imagine coming back from dinner, moving your mouse to let the screen show up, with your home page in the front, and 99 written in the red box, next to her name in the chat task bar. You call up the bro you pretend to be gay with, and scream at him (not before accusing him doing IT with his sister) as to what the fuck is going on.

And then all the friend advice starts popping up.
1. Start ignoring her;

2. Don’t start ignoring her suddenly, do it slowly;

3. Talk to her;

4. Block her;

5. Try putting in effort to like her;

And the Pulitzer winner

6. Fuck her. (In the guy’s defense, he was stoned)

On the other side, she starts getting more clingy, “I cant resist talking to you”, along with a few “I love you (AS A FRIEND)”. Yes that was a glimpse of her Caps Lock addiction. After a week of typing “yeah” in her chat window every 10 minutes, you finally see her writing something that will take your interest. She narrates a story of how her guy BFF dumped her, saying his girlfriend was in her school (he was from Head Start) and she didn’t want him talking to her. This led to her updating her status every half an hour, “subtly” hinting at how he might have been conceived. Obviously, the guy was annoyed, and needed an excuse for her to not talk to him. Instead of “breaking” her “heart”, he opted to lie to her, though he didn’t pull it off successfully. Atleast compared to you, he was free.

You have an epiphany, and realize that you are the head of the Journalism Society of your school, so you post up something about recruitment. Guess who is the first one to sign up? You remain calm, keeping your cool. And get her involved in the whole process. The downside, now you have to actually read what she types. Slowly, she starts getting on your nerves. And then, lying on your computer chair, legs resting besides the monitor, in the middle of the “V” pilot episode, the light bulb turn on above your head. You finally come up with your story. Blaming it on the your ex-friend, who is friends with her too, you tell her that you feel guilty for what you did to your ex-friend (when actually there is no way in hell will you ever admit you were wrong _ don’t worry, you weren’t wrong, your ex-friend just needed an excuse to be pissed at you) and wanted her and all her friends to hate your guts. So after actually talking to her for half an hour, you convince her to not talk to you for a month. You run around your room, jump on your bed, and do the Chandler Bing dance, ass shaking, arms moving and all.

The next day, your friend with whome you pretend to be gay with, posts something in your facebook inbox.

“Mehru
i cant get over him ):
help me !
Syed
So you like him?
Like a crush?
6:03pmMehru
yes
Mehru
he is the coolest person ever
Mehru
well it feels like i lost a part of me
Mehru
maybe
im not sure but he was the coolest friend ever
bauhat cool hai
seriously
Mehru
n dont copy paste this !
but i didnt want to lose him
i hate this
itz torture
unbearable !”

And before you know it, the whole school knows about it. =Z